Next time, wake me
by Tomaka
Summary: A simple look at the rekindled relationship between Shepard and Kaidan, inspired by a short and sweet bit of dialog in Mass Effect 3.


As much as I loved ME3 (well...despite the endings), I felt there weren't enough Kaidan/Shepard moments (could there ever be too many?). At one point Kaidan mentions that Shepard "left without waking [him]", implying something that could have made for a really cute scene. So using that quick quote as a building block, this is how I see this scene potentially playing out. Enjoy!

* * *

She was sitting cross-legged on her sofa, a pad in one hand, a warm glass of water in the other. She took a sip as she flicked her finger over the screen, turning the page in the report.

Kaidan was seated on another section of the sofa, sorting through a lengthy document of his own. Shepard hadn't bothered to ask what he was working on, but she could see the Spectre logo glowing on the screen.

With the Crucible nearing completion the need for war assets was growing more dire. Liara was sending hourly reports up to Shepard's console with lists of resources and personnel that could be of use. Some of them would be close enough for the Normandy to investigate, and others would be forwarded onto Hackett's team.

They'd already recruited a team of Asari dark energy specialists and a scouted a titanium-rich planet. And now that they were en route to Eden Prime, Liara had forwarded Shepard several more planets of interest in nearby systems. The commander was just grateful she had another day's flight to sort through the barrage of information.

Shepard sighed and flipped to another page in the report, downing the last of her stale warm water. Kaidan looked up from his pad, but didn't say anything. He adjusted his position, draping one arm across the back of the sofa and crossing his legs, then went back to reading his pad.

A few minutes later the major shifted again, running his fingers through his hair and letting out a sigh. Kaidan leaned his temple on his knuckles as the light from his pad dimly illuminated his face.

His stillness laster another thirty seconds before he huffed quietly and tossed the pad onto the seat beside him. Shepard looked up as Kaidan leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. She watched for a few moments as he rubbed at his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Everything okay?" She murmured, placing her empty glass on the coffee table.

"If I'd known being a Spectre involved so much paperwork, I'd never had accepted the position." His voice was low and rough with exhaustion. Kaidan laid his chin on his palm and looked over at her, dark circles prominent under his eyes. "You should have warned me."

"You knew the risks." She retorted with a snort, smirking at him.

"Yeah, I know." Kaidan rubbed his eyes again and let out another long breath. Shepard saw the familiar tension in shoulders as he slouched against the sofa cushions. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes.

"Headache?" She asked, setting her pad down.

"Yeah." He muttered, unmoving. "Starin' at reports too long." His speech was low and sluggish.

Shepard rose from her seat and after tucking her pad under an arm, she fetched a clean glass from the shelf. Quietly, she filled it with fresh cool water and sat beside him. Kaidan opened his eyes when she took his hand and coaxed his fingers around the cold glass.

"Need some meds?" Shepard brushed her fingers into the short hair at his temple, watching his eyes. He gave her a tired smile and shook his head, a warm hand laying on her knee.

"It's not too bad yet." His hand gently squeezed her leg reassuringly.

It had only been two days since they'd had lunch together on the Citadel and had admitted to their continued feelings for one another, and it amazed her how easily they had fallen back into their familiar, loving comfort zone. In a strange, soothing way it was as though they'd never been apart. They hadn't had the opportunity to act on their mutual affection since then—saving the galaxy was an understandable distraction—but they spent what time they could together, even if they were both busy doing paperwork.

It occurred to Shepard that they hadn't even gone so far as to kiss yet. They'd been happily sharing the occasional glance or subtle touch, but the right opportunity for intimacy hadn't arisen yet. She didn't really mind, and she doubted Kaidan did either; their companionship was a pleasure all in its self.

Shepard smiled and pulled her hand away from his hair, her fingers grazing over his jaw as she did. "Here," she took his hand and gave him a gentle tug. Kaidan pushed himself to his feet with Shepard's help and let her guide him to the bed. Wordlessly she crawled onto the bed and sat with her back against the headboard. She waved him toward her and watched patiently as he set the glass of water on the bedside table and lowered himself on to the mattress.

Shepard smiled affectionately as she took his hand and pulled him toward her. Kaidan was all too content to follow her instructions, and when she prompted him he laid his aching head over her heart. His broad shoulders flexed and stretched over her torso as he wrapped his strong arms around her. He sighed tiredly and eased himself against her body, gradually letting his eyes drift shut, Shepard's steady slow heartbeat like a reassuring lullaby in his ear.

With one hand Shepard lovingly stroked his hair, the other held her pad aloft so she could continue to read her reports. It only took a few minutes but soon Kaidan's breathing deepened to a low, faint rumble in his throat. Shepard smiled as she scanned through the document.

She wasn't sure if he was truly asleep, but he was at least resting. When she shifted slightly she felt his arms flex and tighten around her, as though he was trying to cling to a long lost child's toy. Shepard sighed serenely and let the backs of her fingers brush lightly over his cheek. Through her gentle caresses and faint touches, the residual tension in his shoulders eventually relaxed and the slight frown on his face faded.

The light of the stars fluttered through the window and sent dancing light across the room. The light mingled with the blue glow of her pad to give Kaidan's sleeping face an eerie, otherworldly appearance. It was reassuring to watch Kaidan sleep. Shepard knew he was dealing with tremendous amounts of stress and trauma: his injuries sustained on Mars; the missing students under his command; their standoff during Udina's coup; and then there was the news from his mother.

She stroked his cheek as she flipped to another page in the report, wishing she was half as good at dealing with the tragedies as he was. It was just the type of man he was though; compartmentalizing and pushing everything aside for the sake of the mission, and for those around him. Shepard could only ignore things for so long before they began to haunt her.

Grudgingly, she sifted through information and compiled lists of valuable resources. She cross referenced them with the Normandy's available supplies and storage, trying to determine if they could manage hauling additional personnel or minerals. It was tedious work that frustrated and tired her, but it was necessary.

Kaidan startled her when his hand gently grasped her elbow. She heard him mumble something against her shirt, his eyes still closed. Believing he was talking in his sleep, she stayed silent and didn't move.

After a moment she felt his head lift off her chest and he looked up at her with bleary eyes. Shepard blinked at him. "What?" She asked, realizing he was expecting a response from her.

"You should get some rest." Kaidan repeated, his voice hoarse and low from sleep. His thumb affectionately stroked the skin of her arm.

"Oh," She murmured, then smiled and shook her head. "I can't, Liara needs these reports looked over." Kaidan released her arm to rub at his eyes.

"Liara can wait. She'll understand. We all know you haven't been getting much sleep." He propped himself up on his arm and lifted his weight from her body. Shepard immediately missed the warmth of him.

"I just need to finish these reports. It should only take a few more hours." She said, shrugging and giving the pad in her hand a slight wave. "How's your headache?"

"Better. Don't change the subject." Shepard saw determination flare in his eyes. He reached out and touched her arm again. "A few hours rest will do you good." The hand on her arm slid up to her fingers and gripped the pad. He tried to tug it from her grasp, but Shepard held firm.

"I can't afford to sleep." She said, fearing the exhaustion and defensiveness in her voice. Kaidan frowned at her and did not release his hold on the pad, and she refused to give it to him.

Kaidan sighed and quietly spoke said her name—her first name. He hadn't called her that since before the first Normandy had been destroyed, reserving the name for truly intimate moments. Seeing the concerned look in his eyes Shepard knew she'd lost the argument before it had even begun.

"Bad dreams." She admitted finally, letting go of her pad. Kaidan leaned over her to place the device on the table next to her clock. He laid on his side beside her, his torso lifted up on one arm while the other rested across her midsection.

"Bad dreams about what?" He asked, never once taking his eyes off her face.

"What do you think?" Shepard said with a huffing sigh, tugging the corner of her mouth aside as she looked at him. "It's easier just to take a stim shot every few hours and avoid them altogether."

Kaidan said her first name again, his voice rich with care and worry. Shepard cringed at the pang of guilt in her stomach. "You know that's not healthy." Of course it wasn't, but anything was better than enduring her horrible nightmares. "Come here." The arm around her waist tightened and Kaidan gently pulled her away from the headboard to lay beside him.

She wanted to protest. She wanted to get up and go back to work. She wanted to strap on her armor and blow husks away with her assault rifle. She wanted to fight, not sleep. But despite everything she wanted, she was overwhelmed by what she needed_. _

Feeling the warmth of his body, Shepard turned into him, nestling her head beneath his chin. Kaidan's strong hand softly stroked her back and she felt him press a kiss to her hair.

"I can't make the nightmares go away," he murmured. Shepard closed her eyes and listened to the words rumbling in his throat. "But I'll be here when you wake up, okay?"

Even with the threat of the Reapers looming over her, Shepard could feel sleep tugging at her and pulling her under. She dreaded the dreams that awaited, but felt comforted by the arms around her.

With a small sigh, she gave in and pressed closer to Kaidan's chest, letting him hold her as she faded into unconsciousness.

* * *

Kaidan was right, he couldn't make the nightmares go away. But when she woke with a jerking start he was still there, just like he promised.

As Shepard blinked and caught her breath, she was surprised Kaidan had been able to sleep through her nightmare. She was hot and her pulse was racing, and the sheet Kaidan had draped over their bodies was tangled in her legs. Shepard knew she had been thrashing, and judging by the tightness in her throat she suspected she'd been making some noise as well.

Perhaps he had needed the sleep as badly as she had, because Kaidan was still soundly asleep, his arm still wrapped around her waist. As she laid in the bed with him, she could hear his calm, deep breaths and it eased her pounding heart.

Outside the stars whizzed beneath the blue waves of the Normandy's mass effect field. Shepard closed her eyes and laid with Kaidan a while longer, feeling immensely comforted in his presence.

Eventually, she rolled her head to the side and glanced at the clock. Her eyebrows shot up when she realized she'd slept for close to seven hours; the longest she'd slept in a very long time. Despite the nightmares, she had to admit she felt relaxed and refreshed.

Beside the clock, her digital pad was blinking insistently. When Shepard reached for it, her slight movement made Kaidan tighten his hold on her, though he did not rouse from his sleep.

Thumbing the screen, she read through a message from her comm specialist. Traynor had intel that appeared to be time sensitive, and Shepard sighed in reluctance. She deactivated the pad and placed it back on the table, then turned back to Kaidan. He was still sleeping, and every few breaths she could hear a faint snore.

She reached out and touched his cheek softly, watching as he smiled softly in his sleep. Gently Shepard placed a light kiss on his mouth; the first kiss they'd shared since being reunited. His lips were soft and warm, just like she remembered, and she felt his hold tense around her again.

Carefully she lifted Kaidan's arm from her waist and slid away from his embrace, despite now much she wanted to stay. Shepard knew he wouldn't like her sneaking away without waking him, but after stealing another glance at his peaceful face, she knew she didn't have the heart to disturb him.


End file.
